so i have spent the past week being a camp counselor. Talk about rough. I have never in my live have had to pour out like i did this last week. it was crazy I thought that i was going to have a heartattack but everything turned out ok...nobody dies and the truth lies in the heart of four lovely ladies..

so time is ticking away...... i have like 3weeks left here as an intern..... part of this time will be in mexico...... i don't really want to go but i know this will be good. It is so hard to leave when you have such a short time left with some of the greatest people you have ever met. I will miss them so much come next year....some will be closer than others but they will still be gone......sad day.

good news of the month----- the incredible Hugh is back in Texas, and on campus. oh how i have missed her.  so this is a shout out to the Hugh!!! welcome back babe.

final preperations

so i am getting everything together to graduate. i have my grad defense on wednesday and i have about 1/2 a years worth of papers to write and i won't lie i feel screwed. checking out 1/2 way through was a bad idea. but i have one more day to finish absolutly everything and then i have to be prepared to convince these people to let me graduate. ......do i deserve it ......who knows....will i, i hope so

please pray that all goes well even though it's my fault i'm in this pickle.

RESTORATION

having friendships restored is one of the most amazing  things ever.  This past Friday was probably  one of my  favorite core memories ever. Everybody  brought things  into the light that needed to come out of the darkness. Oh i  was  completley amazed as to how I felt after.  but I must say there has been some much needed restoration with one friendship in  particular. NATASHA!!! oh this girl is dear to  my  heart. more dear then I think she knows. Whether thick or thin,  good, bad and even the ugly I dont think that I that my love for her  could stop. She is a sister for life and there is nothing but death that could break that but then we will  party  up in Heaven, not like now  but who cares there will be a definite party.  Not some crazy heathen way either.

ministry team is a not..............i know sad but true. i will probably go home after graduation. It is sad and hard to think about. I sit here with so many wonderful things handed to me. something most will never have, I have great people placed in my life and i have some how let them slip through. I have 2 months left of the greatest year of my life, and i sit here today wishing i could go back somehow. I have memories both good and bad but i also have the guilt of not having more. My gauntlet CA told us the first week we were here to live this year with no regrets. I however did not do that. I regret a lot, i regret not pursuing hard enough, i regret not giving it my all, i regret letting something so great slip through the cracks. I dont regret it all. I dont regret the sleepless nights just hanging out talking, having fun. I dont regret the friendships i have made but above all else i dont regret the love I gave. If you are reading this now it probably means that in some way either great or small i have shown my love to you.  my heart bursts with love.....

 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 corinthians 13:1-3

ministry team..........to be or not to be that is still the question of my heart. ...all i want in life is to know what the heck i am doing next year. well that and to listen to real secular music...i want more than instrumentals, i wont lie.

3 months before i can listen to some hecka good music. excitement runs through my body just thinking about it. AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! i am totally having a dance party right after graduation.......all are invited to come drop it like its hot.....

i am going swimming now.....that is something i can do.....and enjoy